I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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