ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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