On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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