I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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