doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
