life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
