So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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