You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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