Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
