Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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