It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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