i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
