but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
