Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
