I think I just saw someone hide a body.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
