The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
