I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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