all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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