butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
