At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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