The maid of honor just puked.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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