Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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