Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Less talking, more tequila
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
