I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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