this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
