I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
