belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
