she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
