Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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