Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
