god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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