She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
