Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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