oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
