Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
