i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
