how can u be prego again
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
