I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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