Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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