Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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