Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
