"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
