Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
