worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
