Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
why is half of my head shaved?
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