Sry I called you an 8
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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