My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You were trust falling into bushes
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
