So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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