I love black thongs
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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