Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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