I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
